My "Rules": Why I Raised My Kids the Old-Fashioned Way

My Not-So-Secret Parenting Style

Okay, confession time. When it comes to parenting, I definitely lean towards the… well, let’s just say the "traditional" side of things. My kids might even use stronger words than that! I wouldn't go so far as to say Republican, but the principles were definitely similar.

It wasn’t a conscious decision, like I sat down one day and said, “Right, time to implement a Republican parenting strategy!” More like, I looked at the world, I looked at my values, and I thought, “This is how I want to do things.” And honestly, it’s worked pretty darn well for us.

I'm not talking politics at the dinner table, or anything like that. It's more about the general principles: respect for elders, personal responsibility, a strong work ethic, and the importance of giving back to the community. You know, the kind of things our grandparents drilled into us. Things that seem to be a little less… common these days. And okay, maybe a slight aversion to letting them stay up all night playing video games. I’m only human!

Why the "Old-Fashioned" Way?

So why did I go this route? Honestly, a big part of it was my own upbringing. My parents weren't perfect, nobody's are, but they instilled in me a sense of right and wrong, a belief in hard work, and a deep appreciation for the things we had. We didn't have much, but we always had each other, and we were taught to be grateful for that.

I wanted to pass those same values on to my own children. I wanted them to understand the importance of earning what they have, of being responsible for their actions, and of treating others with kindness and respect. Sounds simple, right? Turns out, it’s a constant battle against the forces of… well, you know… the world!

Another big reason was seeing what happened when kids didn’t have those boundaries. I saw kids running wild, with no respect for authority, no sense of responsibility, and no real direction in life. And I thought, “Nope. Not my kids.”

Did it make me the “mean mom” sometimes? Absolutely. Was it always easy? Not even close. But looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. My kids are grown now, and they're good, decent, hardworking people. And that, to me, is the ultimate measure of success.

The "Rules" (and How We Bent Them)

Now, when I say "traditional," I don't mean I was some kind of drill sergeant. I wasn't forcing them to wear starched shirts and memorize the Constitution (although, maybe a little more civics knowledge wouldn't hurt!). But I did have some…let’s call them “guidelines.”

• Respect Your Elders (Even When They're Wrong): This was a big one. Not just me and their dad, but grandparents, teachers, anyone in a position of authority. Disagreement was allowed, of course, but disrespect was not. There's a difference between a thoughtful debate and a disrespectful eye-roll.
• Earn Your Keep: Chores were a must. From a young age, they had responsibilities around the house. Emptying the dishwasher, mowing the lawn, cleaning their rooms… you name it. And no, they didn't get paid for it. It was just part of being a member of the family. I’m sure they were thrilled.
• Work Hard, Play Hard (But Work First): School was important. I expected them to do their best, and I was involved in their education. But I also encouraged them to pursue their passions, whether it was sports, music, or art. I even let them get away with some pretty questionable art prints for bedroom décor when they hit the teen years. Hey, gotta let them express themselves somehow, right?
• Give Back to the Community: I wanted them to understand that they were part of something bigger than themselves. We volunteered at the local soup kitchen, we collected food for the food bank, and we participated in community clean-up days.
• Think for Yourself: While I instilled certain values, I also wanted them to be independent thinkers. I encouraged them to question things, to form their own opinions, and to stand up for what they believed in. Even if it meant disagreeing with me!

Finding the Balance

Of course, it wasn't always perfect. There were times when I was too strict, too rigid, too… well, too much. I remember one incident when my son wanted to dye his hair blue. I was horrified. “Absolutely not!” I declared. "What will the neighbors think?!"

Looking back, I realize how silly that was. It was just hair! And it wasn't hurting anyone. So, I relented. He dyed his hair blue, and I learned a valuable lesson about picking my battles. And honestly, it didn't look that bad. Okay, maybe it did. But he was happy, and that's what mattered. Maybe he’ll even find some bright wall art to match it now!

Finding the right balance was key. I wanted to instill values, but I also wanted to allow them to be individuals. I wanted to set boundaries, but I also wanted to give them freedom to explore. It was a constant dance, a never-ending negotiation.

The Proof is in the Pudding (or the Grown-Up Kids)

So, did my "traditional" parenting style work? I think so. My kids are grown now, and they're doing well. They're responsible, hardworking, and kind. They have strong values, and they're making a positive contribution to the world. And, perhaps most importantly, they still call me!

They also understand that the world is a complicated place, and that there aren't always easy answers. They're not afraid to challenge the status quo, but they do it with respect and thoughtfulness. And they even seem to appreciate the values I instilled in them, even if they grumbled about them at the time.

The Ripple Effect

I see the influence of those values in their own lives. My daughter volunteers at a local animal shelter, and my son mentors underprivileged kids in his community. They both understand the importance of giving back, of making a difference in the lives of others. That makes my heart swell with pride.

And you know what else? They're good parents themselves. They're instilling those same values in their own children. They're teaching them to be responsible, respectful, and kind. And that, to me, is the greatest legacy I could ever hope for. I'm not saying they do everything exactly the way I did, but they've adapted the principles to fit their own families. My granddaughter has even asked for wall art for her living room with words of affirmation; I couldn't be prouder.

So, What's the Takeaway?

I’m not here to tell you how to raise your kids. Every family is different, and what works for one family might not work for another. But I do believe that certain values are timeless, and that they're worth instilling in our children.

Respect, responsibility, hard work, kindness, and community. These are the values that have guided me throughout my life, and they're the values I tried to pass on to my children. And while I may have bent the "rules" from time to time, those values remained constant.

And you know what? I think they turned out pretty darn well. Even if one of them did dye his hair blue. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to call my kids and brag about how great they are. They deserve it.